Is This for Real?

So I think that if I was NOT me I'd find my whole situation comical and would start to believe it was all just made up. One of those people that shitty bad things just happen to all the time. You know those characters, ones where you're like ok enough of that person getting shit on it's not really that funny anymore.

So last night I get home from baseball. We lost again and I got nailed in the leg by a line drive. I hope I get an awesome bruise. Anyway I get home. Decide I'm beat and go to bed. Maybe 15 minutes later there's a knock at my door. It's my brother. I say ya you can come in. He comes in turns the light on and says Suki (my dog who I love to death) can't walk. I was like WHAT? what happened? he says she tried to jump up on the couch landed, cried out, freak out, pissed herself and now she can't use her back legs. She's literally dragging her back legs. I go wtf how is that even possible? Yet again, you could say I was all alone because my asshole brother says can i leave her with you because he has friends over and wants to swim in the pool and drink and smoke up. He never said that but that's what he ended up doing so he's still and asshole with no heart.

So I'm sitting there alone in my room with my dog who I have a very special connection with. She's in obvious discomfort, she can't walk, she's shaking a bit and god love her she tries to comfort me. I swear to god I almost lost it, I thought to myself I can't take this shit anymore. I literally can't take this. How much can I deal with? I'm sitting there thinking should I call the vet? I'm thinking it's a spinal injury, i was feeling all around and didn't feel anything wrong and she didn't show obvious discomfort when I touched her anywhere. My mom was at her class and I had no idea when she'd be home. I was almost panicky. I didn't want to have to deal with this alone.

My mom got home, we talked and decided to call the vet. I was the one who made the decision, I should have just done it myself. But anyway we decided the best thing to do was to ice her back and bring her into the vet's in the morning for them to check her over. I find out today that she has to go in for surgery because they think she has this condition that is prevalent in small dogs called degenerative disk disorder or something. I was like wtf she's only 3 years old. Apparently it's common. The poor little thing (she's a shitzu) might not be able to walk for the rest of her life, or if she's lucky we'll literally have to watch her and make sure she never does anything that will hurt her back. This is fucked.

I need a vacation from my life. Can you trade your life for a different one? Can you test drive a different life for a bit? Maybe rent one or lease one?

Like I said if it weren't me i'd probably laugh at me. Like holy shit. Is it me or is this like some shitty dream that you're waiting to wake up from? One of those shitty bad dreams that in the actual dream you realize this is a dream but still can't wake up.

I must have been some incredibly awful person in a past life and this is my time to pay. I hope I've paid and it's all uphill from here!