Dropped off the face of the world

I just got a fortune cookie that says "Your heart is pure, and your mind is clear." How come these things are never even close with me? My heart couldn't be further from pure. I'm an asshole. I judge people. Laugh at little kids when they fall down....ITS FUNNY OK! Laugh at people when they get hurt. Don't have much sympathy for others. I could go on but i think i've proved beyond a shadow of a doubt I'm an asshole. I don't really understand why people even choose to hang around me let alone want to be my friend. It literally blows me away if i sit and think about it. - so i don't -

My friend thinks i've dropped off the face of the world, whatever that means. I wonder what the face of the world looks like. do you think it's an actual face? like god's face? and when you've dropped off it, that's when you get to see what god looks like? then you die and there's no heaven and god just laughs at you?

if you think someone has dropped off the face of the earth wouldn't you CALL them to make sure? my friend didn't. so that's why i laughed when i read her email. I know i didn't get a chance to call her but i doubt very much she just sat around waiting for my call. that would be awsome if someone did that. it would mean they really cared about my incoming call. Besides its not like she hasn't done that to me on more than on occasion...the one time i do it to her and i've dropped off the face of the earth.

If you've dropped off the face of the earth does that mean you like accidentally walked right off? or ...fell? well I guess not a fall because the you fell off the face of the earth. If i've dropped off the face of the earth did someone pick me up and drop me? praps an alien? (praps = perhaps) or maybe a giant?

I should probably stop with this whole face of the earth thing as i'm sure i'll get in a lot of trouble from my friend who reads this blog. oh and btw bad idea to tell your friends about your blog. i wish i hadn't. they catch you in so many things. and what if you just want to vent. they'll read it and take it personally or some crap like that.

You ever feel like you should be doing something but you just can't figure out what? There's something more but you're too stupid to figure it out? You're sure it's rather obvious but you're dumb and things dont' come easy to you? If so, welcome to my club. I don't knwo what it is. there's something not quite right. I'm not sure if it's my job which i'm not exactly happy at, my living situation which i'm not thrilled about, or what. i just can't get it. i feel like i'm being knocked over the head with it but don't have the right glasses to see it. I should see a psychic. maybe that way i'll finally get it.

Last time i saw a psychic for 10 mins and was told i need to do more painting...more? I don't paint. The only thing i've painted was a mural on my wall. The characters on it were fucking traced on i didn't even draw them. i think i needed more time with the dude. he did say shit about me that he couldn't have known so i was convinced he was the real mcdeal.

Well anyway, i'm tired, i've drank a lot and just want to sleep. I hope your lives are easier than mine and if they aren't then we should have a drink together!