Going through the same shit!
Today I talked to a friend I had when I was in high school. We never really hung out after school or anything but the classes we had together were always full of laughter. And you know I really believe a life without laughter is a life not worth living. I mean could you imagine a life of no laughing? Not even when you see some little kid riding their bike in the street and falling?
It seems we are going through the same things at the same time. Wondering wtf we're doing with our jobs. Why the hell don't we have boyrfiends. What is the point of life. That kind of shit I'm sure everyone goes through but you never really have someone you can honestly say "I'm doing really shitty and I don't see the point".
It was really nice to hear that I'm not the only one feeling shitty about all our friends being in serious relationships, pregnant, engaged, or married. And I must say its very nice to have a friend who has never had a boyfriend like myself. Yes I have friends who have boyfriends and I love them. But a friend who has never had one like myself is a different story. They know what I'm going through, they're the same age, and so on. Your friends can only be so supportive because unless they're going through the same thing they just can't identify.
me and this friend always say that we'll get together but I think this time I'm going to be serious about it. For a couple reasons. One: because for some reason I just feel the need to help people I care even a little about. Two: I really don't have any local friends because my only local friend who happens to be the best friend I've ever had, has moved away to start a new life with her boyfriend. As I'm happy as ever that she has really in essence begun her life I can't help but feel bad because I am left behind and left out. it makes me wonder if this friendship will even last. Realistically how many people who are practically married keep single friends? They usually want friends that are attached so they can double date or whatever it is that couples do. They just can't bare to leave their "other" alone for two seconds. Sure I sound bitter but Fuck you all who think that since I've never had the chance to feel otherwise so really I don't know any better. I am happy for her and I wish her all the best. And I really wouldn't blame her in the end if she decided our friendship wasn't meant to be. People grow and people change. Have you ever noticed how people say "this will never happen" or "I'll never do that" and years later they do the very thing they say they'd never do? it blows me away. Am I the only person who sees this? I think I am. I don't take those kind of comments seriously anymore because at 21 almost 22 I just know that people really do change between the ages of 20 and 30 that you just can't keep the promises to yourself that you thought you could.
I'd like to say that I would never hold a person to their promise they made years ago. But I'm totally the person that would
1. Remember that promise when they don't.
2. Hold them to it no matter what.
3. Be pissed when they don't keep it. Because in essence that's lying and I can't stand people who lie.
So I guess what I'm saying is I'm looking forward to rebuilding a friendship I once had. This will give me a friend who is local and I don't have to drive over 30 mins to see. Also I miss this person and would love to become real friends with her. Also I've decided I'm a terribly boring person who needs to get out more often. I never go out as I'm always watching a movie or TV or doing some stupid art project that ultimately gets thrown into a drawer or a box. it would be really nice if some smart marketing or business person came along and said "your stuff is amazing and I can sell it for tons of money. You'll have to quit your job and work on art stuff for the whole day." alas that is but a dream. And I suppose dreams are what they are to keep people going.
wow drunken posts are awesome. Good thing no one reads these stupid posts in the first place. If they did I would be embarrassed.
on another note I'd like to bid farewell to a fellow blogger I will truly miss. Video X is leaving us to comment only. I truly enjoyed her blog entries and I felt like I was getting to know a person I wish I knew in person. She is someone who no matter what has fun. I feel like if I was around her I would have a great time. I'll miss hearing about her fun times and her hard times. You can't have the good without the bad. I'll miss hearing about her drunken times as well. Its strange how you almost feel like a friend to someone you've never even met. For all I know she could be some crazy man in an abandoned warehouse stealing wireless internet making shit up for no reason at all except he's psycho.
obviously I don't feel that way but it could be true. Despite the age difference she is someone I think that I would totally be friends with. Though I'm not sure she'd be friends with me since I'm young and older people don't tend to be friends with younger people for some reason. Ugh blah I'm drunk don't pay attention to the person behind the curtain....................................!!!!!!
I guess I'm just sad and I don't know why and its been that way for awhile. What will fix it? Who will fix it? Can it be fixed? Is it just family life that's dragging me down? Will I always be this way? If so, do I want it to be that way for the rest of my life? I mean now adays people are living to 100. Could you imagine living for 100 years unhappy? Then, what would make me happy? Will finding someone make me happy? Would I be happier alone? Of course I don't think I'll find someone I mean obviously there must be something wrong with me if I'm so close to 22 and haven't even had a boyfriend....My parents have been together since they were 18. I'm so far behind. Then I hear my mother complaining about not having grandchildren. Which is weird since I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me...Does that mean she thinks I am her only hope? So sad. I really can't wait to be an aunt. I can have the fun of a child without the responsibility. AWESOME. I can't wait to give the kid toys that are extremely loud and annoying to bug my bro and his wife.
one thing that is annoying is that i type too fast for this stupid blogger. its really stupid and they should get on that.
holy LORD this post is long. meh who cares not like anyone reads it anyway. VX is the only one who really comments and now she's leaving................I'll miss you and if I never get to talk to you again I really hope all goes well for you in your life and nothing but great and amazing things happen for you! Listen to me you'd think I was losing a close friend or something. Bah...I get too attatched..I SUCK!! I'M GOING NOW... and i commend you if you made it to the end of this horribly long post!
It seems we are going through the same things at the same time. Wondering wtf we're doing with our jobs. Why the hell don't we have boyrfiends. What is the point of life. That kind of shit I'm sure everyone goes through but you never really have someone you can honestly say "I'm doing really shitty and I don't see the point".
It was really nice to hear that I'm not the only one feeling shitty about all our friends being in serious relationships, pregnant, engaged, or married. And I must say its very nice to have a friend who has never had a boyfriend like myself. Yes I have friends who have boyfriends and I love them. But a friend who has never had one like myself is a different story. They know what I'm going through, they're the same age, and so on. Your friends can only be so supportive because unless they're going through the same thing they just can't identify.
me and this friend always say that we'll get together but I think this time I'm going to be serious about it. For a couple reasons. One: because for some reason I just feel the need to help people I care even a little about. Two: I really don't have any local friends because my only local friend who happens to be the best friend I've ever had, has moved away to start a new life with her boyfriend. As I'm happy as ever that she has really in essence begun her life I can't help but feel bad because I am left behind and left out. it makes me wonder if this friendship will even last. Realistically how many people who are practically married keep single friends? They usually want friends that are attached so they can double date or whatever it is that couples do. They just can't bare to leave their "other" alone for two seconds. Sure I sound bitter but Fuck you all who think that since I've never had the chance to feel otherwise so really I don't know any better. I am happy for her and I wish her all the best. And I really wouldn't blame her in the end if she decided our friendship wasn't meant to be. People grow and people change. Have you ever noticed how people say "this will never happen" or "I'll never do that" and years later they do the very thing they say they'd never do? it blows me away. Am I the only person who sees this? I think I am. I don't take those kind of comments seriously anymore because at 21 almost 22 I just know that people really do change between the ages of 20 and 30 that you just can't keep the promises to yourself that you thought you could.
I'd like to say that I would never hold a person to their promise they made years ago. But I'm totally the person that would
1. Remember that promise when they don't.
2. Hold them to it no matter what.
3. Be pissed when they don't keep it. Because in essence that's lying and I can't stand people who lie.
So I guess what I'm saying is I'm looking forward to rebuilding a friendship I once had. This will give me a friend who is local and I don't have to drive over 30 mins to see. Also I miss this person and would love to become real friends with her. Also I've decided I'm a terribly boring person who needs to get out more often. I never go out as I'm always watching a movie or TV or doing some stupid art project that ultimately gets thrown into a drawer or a box. it would be really nice if some smart marketing or business person came along and said "your stuff is amazing and I can sell it for tons of money. You'll have to quit your job and work on art stuff for the whole day." alas that is but a dream. And I suppose dreams are what they are to keep people going.
wow drunken posts are awesome. Good thing no one reads these stupid posts in the first place. If they did I would be embarrassed.
on another note I'd like to bid farewell to a fellow blogger I will truly miss. Video X is leaving us to comment only. I truly enjoyed her blog entries and I felt like I was getting to know a person I wish I knew in person. She is someone who no matter what has fun. I feel like if I was around her I would have a great time. I'll miss hearing about her fun times and her hard times. You can't have the good without the bad. I'll miss hearing about her drunken times as well. Its strange how you almost feel like a friend to someone you've never even met. For all I know she could be some crazy man in an abandoned warehouse stealing wireless internet making shit up for no reason at all except he's psycho.
obviously I don't feel that way but it could be true. Despite the age difference she is someone I think that I would totally be friends with. Though I'm not sure she'd be friends with me since I'm young and older people don't tend to be friends with younger people for some reason. Ugh blah I'm drunk don't pay attention to the person behind the curtain....................................!!!!!!
I guess I'm just sad and I don't know why and its been that way for awhile. What will fix it? Who will fix it? Can it be fixed? Is it just family life that's dragging me down? Will I always be this way? If so, do I want it to be that way for the rest of my life? I mean now adays people are living to 100. Could you imagine living for 100 years unhappy? Then, what would make me happy? Will finding someone make me happy? Would I be happier alone? Of course I don't think I'll find someone I mean obviously there must be something wrong with me if I'm so close to 22 and haven't even had a boyfriend....My parents have been together since they were 18. I'm so far behind. Then I hear my mother complaining about not having grandchildren. Which is weird since I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me...Does that mean she thinks I am her only hope? So sad. I really can't wait to be an aunt. I can have the fun of a child without the responsibility. AWESOME. I can't wait to give the kid toys that are extremely loud and annoying to bug my bro and his wife.
one thing that is annoying is that i type too fast for this stupid blogger. its really stupid and they should get on that.
holy LORD this post is long. meh who cares not like anyone reads it anyway. VX is the only one who really comments and now she's leaving................I'll miss you and if I never get to talk to you again I really hope all goes well for you in your life and nothing but great and amazing things happen for you! Listen to me you'd think I was losing a close friend or something. Bah...I get too attatched..I SUCK!! I'M GOING NOW... and i commend you if you made it to the end of this horribly long post!
posted by RocksAndChairs at 12:18 AM
2 Comments:
well i can't believe that you actually made it through all that. did you actually go out and buy a bottle just cuz of meeee?
what happend with that guy you skipped your xmas party to be with?
i really hope you don't stop posting! And what do you mean about people judging you...i don't see that. am i wrong?
I'll never leave you behind. I'm at school. Don't Give Up On Me....please...
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