Anniversary!!
Today is my ONE year anniversary!!!!!!!
It is one year to the day that i almost died. Some fucking asian dude almost ran me over with his van when i was crossing the street ON A WALK SIGNAL. it was actually really cool. less than a half a second longer and i would have been in the hospital. that asian dude would have SMOKED me. good thing i have cat like reflexes after a few beers.
i know what you're thinking i was drunk but NO i only had two beers WHICH i nursed. and nursing beers is no small feat considering warm beer is fucking SICK. it was at a light. the right side of the road had three lanes a left turning lane then two driving ones. the other side of the road had 2. so we're walking across cuz we have the little walking guy. when i get to the first "driving lane" i noticed there's a fucking GREEN LIGHT for them to start driving. then i went RUN!!!! so my friends didn't notice but i started running. that's when i looked to my right and saw him. THE ASIAN DUDE. he was motoring in his cool kid van. he didn't see me till i slammed into the side of his shitty van. i hope i dented it. well he slammed on the brakes. i stuck my hands out and that was the only part of me that actually made contact with the van. so the momentum of the kid van made me spin. then i slammed my knee into the ground causing me to rip my FAVORITE pair of jeans as well as get a cut but who cares abou tthe cut, CUTS HEAL BUT JEANS ARE BROKEN FOREVER!!!! i was so upset.
so i got up and discoverd the rip which i was pissed about but other than the bloody knee i was fine. i'd had way worse from playing baseball so i was like lets continue to the bar.
being the fact that its winter the school parking lot had giant mounds of snow we had to climb over. then of course large sheets of ice from those sunny days it melts. so we mangaged to make it over the ice mound and we're walking laughing about how i got hit by a van then lester takes a huge dive and lands on her ass hard. and i mean REAL hard. like so hard you can't even laugh cuz you can feel their pain. i still cringe when i think of it. she is REALLY lucky she didn't break her tail bone.
so really if i hadn't looked over to my right i could be either dead, a cripple or maybe missing a limb, or broken something...i don't know but obviously a fucking asian dude in a kid van can't keep me down.
on another note today i decided to start my post-it war on the office. i only did two. i'm pretty sure only the one was noticed. on the one i put "look to your left" and there were cubicles to the left. i thought that was the funniest thing. and then when one of the 1pm lunch crew pointed it out to me she said "look what someone put, look to your left, there's nothing to the left i don't even get it" well that was the hardest moment. to not burst out laughing was so hard. the other one said "keep your left eye open" i know i know its stupid. but the thought of someone standing there staring at it thinking "is this supposed to mean something?" just cracks me up. even if no one ever does that the THOUGHT is what makes it so worth it.
oh ANNNNNNNNND i think no neck guy has decided to fucking join the 1pm lunch crew. what am i going to do? this time i was able to stare at the absence of neck because he had his back to me. is there a NO NECK ANONYMOUS group i could join?
It is one year to the day that i almost died. Some fucking asian dude almost ran me over with his van when i was crossing the street ON A WALK SIGNAL. it was actually really cool. less than a half a second longer and i would have been in the hospital. that asian dude would have SMOKED me. good thing i have cat like reflexes after a few beers.
i know what you're thinking i was drunk but NO i only had two beers WHICH i nursed. and nursing beers is no small feat considering warm beer is fucking SICK. it was at a light. the right side of the road had three lanes a left turning lane then two driving ones. the other side of the road had 2. so we're walking across cuz we have the little walking guy. when i get to the first "driving lane" i noticed there's a fucking GREEN LIGHT for them to start driving. then i went RUN!!!! so my friends didn't notice but i started running. that's when i looked to my right and saw him. THE ASIAN DUDE. he was motoring in his cool kid van. he didn't see me till i slammed into the side of his shitty van. i hope i dented it. well he slammed on the brakes. i stuck my hands out and that was the only part of me that actually made contact with the van. so the momentum of the kid van made me spin. then i slammed my knee into the ground causing me to rip my FAVORITE pair of jeans as well as get a cut but who cares abou tthe cut, CUTS HEAL BUT JEANS ARE BROKEN FOREVER!!!! i was so upset.
so i got up and discoverd the rip which i was pissed about but other than the bloody knee i was fine. i'd had way worse from playing baseball so i was like lets continue to the bar.
being the fact that its winter the school parking lot had giant mounds of snow we had to climb over. then of course large sheets of ice from those sunny days it melts. so we mangaged to make it over the ice mound and we're walking laughing about how i got hit by a van then lester takes a huge dive and lands on her ass hard. and i mean REAL hard. like so hard you can't even laugh cuz you can feel their pain. i still cringe when i think of it. she is REALLY lucky she didn't break her tail bone.
so really if i hadn't looked over to my right i could be either dead, a cripple or maybe missing a limb, or broken something...i don't know but obviously a fucking asian dude in a kid van can't keep me down.
on another note today i decided to start my post-it war on the office. i only did two. i'm pretty sure only the one was noticed. on the one i put "look to your left" and there were cubicles to the left. i thought that was the funniest thing. and then when one of the 1pm lunch crew pointed it out to me she said "look what someone put, look to your left, there's nothing to the left i don't even get it" well that was the hardest moment. to not burst out laughing was so hard. the other one said "keep your left eye open" i know i know its stupid. but the thought of someone standing there staring at it thinking "is this supposed to mean something?" just cracks me up. even if no one ever does that the THOUGHT is what makes it so worth it.
oh ANNNNNNNNND i think no neck guy has decided to fucking join the 1pm lunch crew. what am i going to do? this time i was able to stare at the absence of neck because he had his back to me. is there a NO NECK ANONYMOUS group i could join?
posted by RocksAndChairs at 10:29 PM
1 Comments:
lol Damn!...Guess you'll get to have another anniversary next week!! I still think you should have pulled that asian guy outa his kid van and yelled at him for being a crazy driver!!!
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