If only it were a Joke

Well what do you know looks like I'll be moving desks for the EIGHTH FUCKING TIME this is bullshit. i'm so sick of moving around this fucking office. and it will suck to have to sit with my boss again. i could take everything except that when i have to make my calls to people i'll have to do it with tons of people around me to make lots of noise so i can't hear what people are saying to me. i already have a hard enough time. i relayed this concern of mine to my boss and my reply was "well you can come back in here and make your calls." to which i replied "is there going to be a computer in there?" and my answer was "no there will not be a computer in there" and i said "well that won't work for me" i really didn't get an answer to that, just a look, not a bad look but a look nontheless.

Well anyway NC and i are totally pissed we're losing our totally sweet office. no more shutting the door and bitching about people, no more shutting the door and playing music, no more shutting the door and just plain TALKING. guess we'll have to go back to msn if we actually want to talk. its weird how we both feel like we can't even talk.

On the starting over front looks like bethany is going to leave the house AND MY ARCH NEMASIS JODIE. wahooooooooo i can't wait for that stupid jodie to make like a baby and HEAD OUT. See ya no one wants to be ya! So far as i can tell she's leaving because bethany is leaving and she "is tired of seeing people leave" what a fucking baby, you're there to work on your fucking self not get upset about people leaving. she's such an attention WHORE. ugh i hate her so much. can't wait to see that episode.

Bethany's sister was there to help her out making the decision. seeing them makes me kind of jealous. i wish i had a sister. it seems like sisters have such a unique connection that you just don't see with a brother and sister. my brother and i were closer at some point. but then he turned into an asshole so i don't really like to be around him much anymore. i feel like i'm missing out on something. i don't know maybe having a sister is over rated but its something i've always wanted. maybe i'll have to wait till my brother gets married...HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA oh man sorry i think i was dreaming there. its sad but i really don't see him finding someone who can stand him. i can't even stand his asshole'ishness. but then i'm not looking to date him SO....

lol he does have one chick who seems to be interested in him. she's a fucking FREAK. one of those tree hugger hippies. the kind that are creepy. i mean i don't have anything against those people but i'm not sure they even bathe and that's just not cool. plus she's kind of annoying and her voice makes me want to punch her in the throat in hopes of damaging her voice box.

I don't get why just because someone is my family i have to like them. i mean i didn't CHOOSE to be related to them. wouldn't that be stupid if you had a friend you hated i mean that just doesn't make sense. why do i have to like someone who is only related to me by marriage?

i think i must be slicing myself with a knife in my sleep. i have a cut on my thumb and i didn't even use a fucking knife today. nor did i run paper along my thumb. so where the fuck did this slice come from? it really hurts too. i must also be fighting myself in my sleep since i constantly find bruises on myself from nothing that i can think of. i mean you would remember banging into shit....wouldn't you? I'm not the most careful person when it comes to shit like that. sometimes i find it easier to just bang into shit than to avoid it. i mean a bruise heals right? sure does. there are however certain ones you have to be careful of. the closer they are to your heart the more dangerous they are. did you know that you can die from a bad bruise? pretty scary. for sports like rugby and football the doctors actually sit and rub out bruises which are high up on the leg because you can get a clot. THAT'S FUCKED?

I'd be like HEY MAN that bruise is fucking cool and i HAVE to show everyone i know!

I think i want to start biking. I'm thinking of buying a bike. i'm not sure yet, i always have troubles buying myself anything. i have to weigh the pros and cons as always. but they say you should do different forms of exercise so this could work. plus i have this urge to have the wind in my hair on a nice day. its weird actually. how strong this urge i have to bike is. i don't get why as of yet.

On sunday i was told by janices three girls that i'm their favorite babysitter. their reason? ya i had to know too...it was because one time i took them to mcdonalds. yup kids are easy to win over. they also said they would want me as their mom. they don't like their one babysitter, apparently the girl makes them dance all the time, and if they don't want to dance she makes them go to their room and tells their mom that they were being bad...this babysitter is a fucked up kid. what the hell? they like me babysitting because another time we made chocolate suckers....kids are easy to win over...i think its funny i mean most times i like to just sit and watch the kiddie movies since i'm addicted to them. but it was still nice to hear i suppose.

i kind of want to start being more in their lives. doing fun things with them, taking them out and doing shit. the youngest, johnny, is just about old enough that we can do that. she's really little though so walking a lot is hard otherwise she'll start to ask to be carried and that's not cool with me!!! i pretty much have hre whining problem fixed though. whenever she starts to whine i say "i can't hear you when you're whining" and like magic she starts to talk normal. funny how that works isn't it. i hate whining its like jamming a pencil in your ear, VERY PAINFUL. Well anyway they don't like their aunts so i could be their cool aunt. and apparently i'm talking to the oldest one tommy about pads and tampons when her time comes, janice thinks its soon lol. i dont know if i should be the one to talk to her about it. isn't that an important time in a chick's life? oh, by talk i mean get her to use a tampon. a tampon because she loves to swim and lets face it swimming with a pad just doesn't work.

i dont know its nice to be around kids and its nice when they really want to be around you and love being with you. kind of a nice feeling. hard to describe. i never had a cool aunt so i could be one for sure and i'm kind of giving up on my brother to produce me some kids i can be an aunt to so i have to make due right?