Can You Carry a Conversation?

Have you ever talked with someone where you literally had to carry the conversation? BRUTAL. Those people annoy the crap out of me. I imagine those people must have grown up in a cave with nothing but themselves and their imaginary friend who wouldn't even talk them.

Do you think those people are boring or just don't know how to talk?

Things I Miss

I was driving home today from baseball (we lost, no surprise) and saw these two kids walking home from some pond with fishing rods and gear. It really made me yearn for summer vacation. I miss it. I want it back. To literally bum around for two whole months, what the hell else could you wish for? Not get dressed for a couple days? SUMMER VACATION YOU ROCK AND I MISS YOU!

I miss talking on the phone with friends for hours. Seems like no one calls anyone anymore unless they have a reason. I fall into that category too. I feel like I'm bothering people if I call them. Which makes no sense because I love it when people call me and I'm totally not being bothered. But then I don't have a life and most everyone else does.

But did you ever do that? Spend hours on the phone with friends talking about nothing? My one friend and I used to watch two shows one after the other, 2 hours, on the phone, we really only talked during commercials about what just happened, or we'd laugh at the same time at something. I miss those days and I miss doing that. I miss getting yelled at to get off the phone.

I miss the days when I didn't menstrate. Menstrating sucks. I hate my angry uterus. I'm pretty sure it hates me too considering how much of a bitch it is to me.

I miss having friends within walking distance of me. Especially when I becamse legal to drink. Sucks not being able to stumble home drunk!

I miss going out and stealing road signs. No we weren't drinking. Many times I woke up the next day with a sore stomach from laughing so hard. Fuck those times were so funny. We'd drive around on farm roads at night and pick signs to steal. It didnt' really matter what signs. Just that we stole them. One summer we went around stealing all the "food for sale" signs, you knwo the ones like "sweet corn" and "Fresh strawberries". We collected a lot and stashed them in a friend's garage. This was done with the intent of putting them all on my other friend's yard so people would think they had shit for sale. Alas her father found the signs and tossed them. So sad, that would have been hilarious!!

I miss being skinny. I was really skinny, then something happened. Puberty? I don't know. I've been told there's a medical reason for this but I don't really want to find out what it is. I think it will be scary. I'm working on it though. I should really make sure I don't die...I guess.

What do you miss?

Someone is Attacking Me

I'm convinced someone is attacking me in my sleep. I just found another bruise on my body. My uppper thigh. I have no idea where they are coming from. I used to get them when I fought with my friend but we haven't done that in years and I can't remember the last time I saw her actually. So it can't be her. I'm not having sex so that's not the cause. I haven't played sports so...not it. I can come to only one logical conclusion, someone is attacking me in my sleep.

And why do I always noticed said bruises when I'm going pee? I whip down my pants, sit down and oh, there's another damn bruise. I have another one practically in my armpit. A spot that makes no sense. Like even if someone grabbed me they couldn't get a bruise there. I'd like to know who the hell is attacking me in my sleep. Maybe it's me, attacking myself. Do you think? No I think it makes more sense that someone is attacking me in my sleep.

What's with people getting up a bagillion times during a movie? You couldn't go to the bathroom before the movie? The bathroom was literally right next to the theatre. ON YOUR WAY to your seat! It's one thing if you have a little kid, I'll forgive your poor judgment on that one. But I'm talking adults and teenagers. The movie wasn't that long. I go the whole day at work without going to the bathroom, surely these people can last two and a half hours.

Why do kids ask so many questions? How are they oblivious to how extremely annoying they are. If I were a parent I'd yell STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS! And then I'd say "Go ask your father."

I took my friend's kid to Playdium yesterday. Fucking Awesome. I forgot how fun that place is. To be honest the kid cramped my style and slowed me down. But it was her birthday so she gets a free pass. For those of you who don't know, Playdium is this giant place with tons of different games. There are shooting games, dancing games, car racing games. It's wicked. It also has those games where you win tickents and then can get toys and shit. We found this one game where you win tons of tickets practically everytime. Anyway the games were a bit beyond her grasp, she's 9. She didn't quite get that you have to reload your gun to shoot the zombies. I want to go back sans little kids. I love shit like that. I could have spent craploads of money there, but I didn't. I was careful.

Isn't it awesome when you can get away with not buying a kid a gift, and your gift to them is that they get to spend the day with you? What a gyp to them. Suckers! I spent a little more than I would have on a gift but I had fun so that makes it worth it. When you get a kid a toy what fun is that for you? After Playdium we went to A&W for lunch...cheap again, then to Walmart so she could buy herself some shit she doesn't need with her newly acquired birthday money, and to my house for a swim. At that point I was freakin tired. I had a long week. Then the other two kids wanted to come for a swim so I had to entertain for longer. Then I went to their place for a giant steak dinner. When I say giant I mean it. The steak was bigger than the plate. It was hanging over the edge. It wasn't some small plate either. I literally had meat for dinner....MMMMMMMMM.

What did you do on your Sunday?

A Change of Pace

Holy shit I was planning on changing things up a bit and writing a NOT depressing blog post. But I'm watching this documentary about pigs and it really brought me down. I still love bacon to death though.

I was on vacation this week. It was nice. I really hate working! Seriously hate working. And it's not just because I hate my job....with a bitter passion. I really just want to do my own thing. but then again who the hell doesn't?

Anyway I spent a couple days zooming around on Lake Ontario. It was fun. There are some amazing huge and beautiful homes along the waterfront. Lucky bastards. What did they do to earn their huge moneys? How can I do the same? I need one of those lightbulb moments. I've never had one. Have you?

I am however creating a website. Details will come but really it's just for fun and I don't really expect much from it. I'm looking forward to adding the content.

I saw the new harry potter movie that day it opened. In fact one of my bestest friends and I spent two days watching the previous movies in preparation for the newest addition. I have to say it is by far my favorite so far. I really had low expectations for it because it's the largest book so far. So there was much more to cut out of the movie. It was well done.

You know I really don't have anything cheery to write about. I'm not in that state of cheery mind lately.

One thought though, the other day when driving to Lake Ontario I saw some dude walking along the sidewalk to wherever he was going. I'm sure he's a really nice guy but why oh WHY must you walk around in a sweater with your hood up? You look like total SKETCH. Way to scare the crap out of people and make them give you a wide berth when walking by. He looks like one of those police sketches of someone who robbed a corner store. So...why do people do that? YOU LOOK SKETCHY!!

I'm thinking of getting some shirts made. I can't wait. Finally I've come up with my first design. When I get it made I'll post some pics. But really it's an inside joke so no one will find it funny except for me and one other.

Anyway there's my attempt at a non-depressing post.