friendship

Friendship is hard. this i have learned. I don't have a lot of friends, this is by choice. I know a lot of people say this. but its actually true with me. I don't have a lot of friends because in actuallity i hate people. i couldn't handle a lot of friends. I'm not one of those people who has a ton of friends but no really "good" friends. i don't know how those people can do it. ...to never really know someone really well...how can you trust them?

trust is a big thing with me...i still don't tell my best friend of 10+ years EVERYTHING, i feel bad about that, but its just the way i am. i have a hard time with it. i'm sure it would be different if we were talking everyday but we're not.if u don't ask me stuff i won't tell you...most times i'm pretty honest unless its something extremely personal in which case i might lie. if you're my best friend you'd probably know if i was lying in which case you'd call me on it. its not easy to be my best friend....ask my best friend. I'm sure she wishes she wasn't my best friend in fact.

to tell you the truth i'm really clueless as to why anyone calls myself their friend. that's the honest truth. it really makes no sense to me. i'm mean, sometimes rude, blunt, competitive...blah blah blah could go on but i'm too lazy to. i don't get it. i guess it's their own fault if they get hurt. i seriously warn people before they truly decide to be my friend. my friendship comes with a disclaimer.

well anyway what the fuck was this post about anyway? my best friend and i, that's what. its kind of weird with us right now. we fight a lot. but only through msn and email. go figure, the two forms of communication that don't include human to human interaction. we fight in person too. it usually involves hitting each other. it starts with her hitting me. me letting her get away with a couple of hits until one really hurts then me trying to get her back and her PLEADING with me to not get her back because she knows i'm WAY stronger than she is.

i think that some poeople think we're lesbians or something. we fight like we're a couple. its kind of weird. but it is what it is. i don't mind. in fact its kind of funny to see people's reactions.

I've had a lot to drink and i'm not quite sure what my point was. something about friendship and how much i love my best friend but we have a weird relationship. i'm pretty sure that's what i was tyring to say.

I have to go to bed now, the alcohol has reached my eye lids and from there its a downhill battle. to sean i will say i'm sorry, i missed heros tonight. i will try to download it though. I watched it last week and it was awsome!

HELP

I need help. I need help naming a drink I came up with.

I always name everything and this needs a name.

It contains:

Gingerale
Raspberry Vodka
Raspberry Sour Puss

Color: depending on how much sour puss you put in, a magenta kinda color cuz i'm against pink so i make sure its more reddish than pink.

It doesn't taste sour...MAYBE a bit tart but not even. I'd give you measurements but i don't ever measure drinks i make. i just pour and it tastes good.

I like names that are funny and make a TAD bit of sense but not really. I just can't think of a good name for this drink. I already have one that i made up called fuzzy apple so i coudn't call it fuzzy raspberry or something like that.

so again HELP! or as i prefer to say PLEH!

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Fucking children's organizations. First i had to buy fucking girl guides cookies TWO fucking boxes. and now the godamed boy scouts come around and i have to buy some chocolate thing for fucking $20 what a rip. they should make shit cheaper i mean those poor kids have to go door to door and the cheapest thing on their list is $15? that's real nice!

Nothing Really

I don't really have anything to say at all. My weekend was average. I highlighted Janice's hair for her. In the process I ruined a shirt. I don't even know how I got dye on my shirt but I did. I might just dye the whole thing now so I can still wear it.

That's pretty much all I did.

Today I spent half the day working on a project i worked on all last week and what did i find out? OH WE'RE NOT DOING IT THAT WAY ANYMORE SO DON'T BOTHER FINISHING...fuck. wtf? i'm still pissed. i spent so fucking long on that fucking shit and for what? nothing. I could have sat at home all week. would have been the same thing. fuckers.

because of that project i got behind in my other shit. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Oh something good that happened at work...so our graphics guy is designing an ad for a tradeshow we're going to. New Chick and I just about pissed our pants laughing at it when we saw it. TOTALLY funny! we decided we're getting it made into shirts and wearing them to work on the same day to piss off our boss.

She had a problem with the design cuz there were naked people in it. but all their bits were covered in clever little ways so it was all good which was part of the reason why we LOVED it. i can't wait i love it. we're waiting to hear back from this shirt store to see how much it will cost. Probably like $30 or more. rather pricy but i really want the shirt so i don't mind...THIS TIME! Once we get it done i'll put up pics so you can see. its really awsome!

I really have nothing to say tonight. sorry!

PYJAMA PANTS

I could be writing about my long weekend, I could be writing about about an extremely valuable lesson I learned this weekend (under no circumstances should you EVER stay up until 5:30am drinking, the night before you're planning on going to a fair with rides) but instead I'm going to write about my pyjama pants.

I found them. It took me awhile to realize they were even missing. but one day i was like hey where are those pyjama pants. I cleaned my room to find them in hopes they were thrown in some corner, but alas they were not. I looked high and low (even behind the dryer) in the laundry room but alas they were not there. where did i find them you ask? in my parents fucking CLOSET. assholes. someone stole them.

lucky for them they're both in british columbia or some heads would be rolling at the moment. I take my pyjamas VERY seriously. if i had my way i would wear nothing but pyjamas. I'm wearing them right now. I really love them. In fact i think i want some new ones too. I havn't had new pyjamas in ever. I want silk pyjamas, or satin...no actually i want BOTH. People say, "oh they'll wrinkle" no shit who fucking cares you just sleep in them...its not like i need wrinkle'less pyjamas to go to work in...HELLO? who fucking cares if your pyjamas wrinkle easily.

So all you people out there can FINALLY rest easy knowing i AT LAST found my pyjama pants.

Fried Green Tomatos

I hadn't seen this movie in a rather long time. But I just watched the whole thing. It made me jealous.

A tale of life...and death and everything that happens in between. More importantly it's a story about two friends, best friends. I envy the bond they had with each other. I couldn't imagine being that close with someone. You could say they were like sisters but really they were closer than that.

In fact I've never seen sisters who were ever that close, either tolerated each other or were fighting. No these two people were content just to be with each other in a totally non sexual way.

It was nice to see. You don't really see that very often these days. We always keep people a certain distance away don't we? I want that for myself. I think one day I'll have it. That kind of friendship that lasts forever, through the years growing together and with each other. The friend that is always next door or down the street. of course the other thing that always fucks it up is someone ends up moving. I've learned that I don't do so well with long distance friendships. I need that constant appearance. Which sucks because it's always inevitable that someone will move. Nowadays people don't stick around in one spot for very long.

I'm not interested in having a ton of friends. I'm more interested in people who will stick around for years to come. That old saying its not quantity it's quality...besides I don't' really like people that much so I could never have a lot of friends anyway.

I don't know what I'm saying. It's just nice when there's a movie these days that actually moves you and invokes an emotional response. Surprise surprise this movie was based on a novel. It would be amazing to have a friendship like the one in this movie, but who knows maybe that's all it is...fiction. Whether it is or isn't I highly recommend this movie if you haven't seen it. And if you have seen it I recommend you watch it again. It's not like its a new movie, I forget what year it came out and I'm too lazy to IMDB it but Jessica Tandy was in it so obviously it was made when she was alive.

Now there was a chick who knew how to pick her movies. I've never seen a movie with her in it that I didn't like. Interesting how you find certain actors who never disappoint. I was going to say that about Kathy Bates as well..but then she had to do that movie "About Schmitt". Ok movie until we got to see her ENTIRELY FUCKING NAKED. Kathy I like you but i do NOT need to see you fucking naked. That was nasty. Don't get me wrong I admire her courage but still....GROSS. i don't even like to see myself naked and avoid it at all costs which is rather hard since i have a wall made almost entirely of mirror in my room.

What does a fried green tomato taste like anyway?