Alone??!?!!?!

I just found out i'm going to be alone for thanksgiving this year (next weekend). That's great now i have to make my OWN meal for myself. I haven't decided if I'm going to let anyone know about this. It might be nice to be alone. I don't know. I was thinking of renting a shit load of movies and just watching movies all day.

I'm pretty sure if certain people knew this i'd be invited over for dinner but I don't want a pity invite. "oh you're alone? well you can come over to our dinner". you know the kind where they only invite you because you're alone? My brother doesn't live at home he's moved away for school. so he won't be coming home unless he can figure out how to on a bus and i don't know how to get to wherever he lives so...he's not coming home.

The most i've had the house to myself was a week or a few days so this will be awsome to have it all to myself. i'm looking forward to it.

Fucking Weather

I was halfway through my post when the stupid weather decided to make the power go out. extremely annoying.

i found a new cure for cramps, my previous one being a bottle of wine. this new one is called percocet. mmmmmm quite nice. works well. i recommend it!

for the past three days i've had this pain in my shoulder. it really hurts and is really annoying. i think its from stress. work is pretty bad right now. i don't really want to talk about it.

stress is weird. i've been stressed before but this is different. it really makes you tired. i can barely last a whole working day now. it just exhausts me. I should probably talk about it but the thought of it all makes me so tired. i feel like i'm shutting down. people ask me how i am but i just say fine.

its to the point where someone would literally have to make me talk. but i don't know i dont' think that would work i wouldn't even know where to begin. its evolved into this feeling and not so much a situation. i'm not even making sense. what the hell am i talking about?

I should go. i have dishes to do. its pouring rain...the so hard that i turned up the tv cuz it was really loud. I'll have to put the garbage out. isn't that great? i foresee a soaking in my future.

Aunt Flow

Nothing like a few crippling cramps to bring the plans you had for your day to a screeching halt. Aunt flow decided to come for a visit today. I hate her.

It's ok I guess. There a few new movies I'd like to catch up on so ... fine I guess but still disapointing.

My dad bought a $160 fish for $30 yesterday. Sweet deal if it was a pair of jeans instead of some animal that will likely DIE. why didn't he just GIVE me the money? I wouldn't have complained. The fish's saving grace with me is that it's supposed to turn this wicked cool color of blue. we'll see though.

My brother is moving out, that will be nice. More chances of me having the house to myself. Now I just have to work on getting my parents to stop being shut ins and getting the fuck out of the house.

fuck, i have to go lay die, i'm in too much pain.

The Blue Penguin

I am happy to report the blue pengin is on its way. What is the blue penguin you ask? well i'll tell you. The blue penguin is my parents' basement. I live there. I have decided I'm going to clean it up and make it like an actual apartment down there. I'm sick of having no where to entertain friends if i should happen to once in a blue moon have one over.

My friend and i ALWAYS name things so i decided it needed a name. before that stupid sad ass movie "march of the penguins" came out i totally wanted a penguin so that's where the penguin part comes from. and blue is my fav color so naturally it fits. plus i wanted a name for it that made no sense which it really doesn't so THERE.

I even have a logo for the blue penguin. i stole the linux penguin and made it blue. i have an awsome one of the penguin lying on some floating thing with a drink in its hand. SCORE! it really doesn't get better than that! After i have the blue penguin set up KT and i are going to go out and steal letters from those signs people have to spell out "the blue penguin" i even have the perfect spot to hang them in the basement.

I'm really looking forward to getting this done. today i spent most of my time organizing my shit that was dumped there. My parents seem to think that most of the crap piled up is mine...well i'm here to tell you it fucking isn't. i'm going to get ALL my shit out of there and say YO GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT OUT OF THERE I WANT TO TURN THIS SPACE INTO SOMETHING USABLE BITCHIS! ( i meant to spell bitchis with an 'i'". quite a lot of the crap dumped there is theirs NOT mine.

......so i just informed my parent they should start thinking about doing something with all their shit they dumped in the basement. i got a head shake from my mother which means something like she doesn't believe me, or what a bitch or something like that. that annoyed me but whatever.

I made the fatal rookie mistake when concockting a drink for myself this evening. i poured the alcohol into the glass before checking to see if there was mix. i thought there was but some person in this household finished it off so i was left with raspberry vodka and raspberry sourpuss in a glass with no mix. what was i to do? why improvise of course. i poured orange juice into it. not bad but i would have prefered my usual 7-up/sprite.

at 3pm today i injected raspberry vodka into an orange by way of a syringe left over from my dog almost dying. of course i sterilyzed it to get rid of the valium first. right now its 6:45 and i think i might wait to eat it after dinner as a desert. i hope its good. i don't know if i did the injecting right. i injected it all over the orange. should i have done it in the same hole everytime? i dont know we'll see. I've also done the whole watermelon and vodka thing as well. it was awsome. i highly recommend it for a summer bbq. what you do is get a seedless watermelon and cut a hole in it for the bottle opening of your alcohol. i used raspberry vodka and it was divine. but i'd also like to try other flavors. so you cut a hole in the top so you can insert the bottle. i suggest half a micky to start so there's no spilling. pour half the mickey out and save it for later. what you do is flip the bottle ever so carefull so as not to spill and insert it into the hole. you leave the bottle for however long it takes for the vodka to soak into the watermelon. at least 3 hours! so don't sit there waiting for it all to pour into the watermelon. then depending on the size of the watermelon you can use the rest. if you want to get wasted i suggest you eat the watermelon that was closest to the hole. that stuff is wicked potent. i didn't like it because it was too strong. but we all have different tastes.

that whole episode with my dog has costed me around $660. OUCH. not cool but she's alive so its worth it. next time a get a dog i will put away every paycheck $20.00 for such emergencies. this is the first time i've had one with her and she's 10 years old so assuming i'm being paid bi-weekly for 10 years that would be $4800...um is my math right that's a fucking crazy amount of money. well whatever i've been drinking and can't be held accountable for my mathing. but still if i would have done that from the beginning (which i coudlnt' because i was 12 when i got her) it wouldn't sting so much. but next time. and i'm totally telling anyone this bit of advice if they're thinking about getting a dog. which reminds me i need to research dogs that don't shed which are medium sized for mildred. that should be interesting.

ok i'm tired of typing and i need to flip through my dog books so i'm gonna go now.

My Bruise

I got a bruise on my thigh on my baseball saturday. its pretty damn sweet. every day it looks cooler and cooler. i love bruises and scars and cuts. i think you're a pretty boring person if you don't even have a scar. scars are cool i love hearing how people got them.

how did i get my bruise you ask? well i'll tell you. i was on second base and the ball was hit to first base. i of course ran off my base a bit waiting to see if they'd throw it. low and behold they did. right fuckin at me. it nailed me in the leg. fuck it hurt. ever get hit with a softball? don't let the name fool you they're not that soft at all. needless to say i was safe on third base so it was all good and worth it.

........................ya that would be cool if that was how i got the bruise, but alas it is not. in between games i rammed my leg hard into the corner of a picnic table. seriously killed. it was so painful i had to stop walking even cuz it hurt so bad. whatever though i got a sweet fucking bruise that changes colors everyday. my multicolored bruise kicks ASS! the center is the deep red color with purple on the outside of it. i'm sure it will turn that wicked green and yellow color soon. i should take a daily picture to map the progression of the multicolorness that is my bruise.

I know you were enthralled with the information about my bruise, in fact i think i might name my bruise jack, as in you don't know jack.

i must go to yet another baseball game we shall horribly lose...who knows i might get another bruise!!

The Weekend

What's the attraction to having a spider or two as a pet? I don't really get it. What fun is it? Is is the same kind of thing as having a glass box full of fish? No, I imagine not. Fish are at least a bit more interesting i mean they're ALWAYS moving, you can watch them swim around the tank, eat food, swim some more and so on. what does a spider do? it just sits there.

anyway...this weekend was extremely busy! Friday night my soccer team was playing their arch nemesis at 6:30. We sucked and lost, the game was over at 8:15. I had to jet from that game to a friend's house to catch a ride to my slo-pitch game which started at 9pm. we sucked and lost and i was in bed by 12:00.

On saturday i was up at 8am to catch another ride back to play the other two tournament slo-pitch games, the first of which to start at 10:15am. we sucked and lost and had an hour and half to drink our loss away. at which point we all decided it would be a great idea to paint our faces. the first one to do it was my friend who got some weird demented looking monkey on her cheek. she then forced me to get something and i decided on the words grand slam. I figured if i wrote them maybe it would come true. it didn't. everyone followed with some sort of sexual inuendo on their faces. we tried to get the foreign guy to get "insert balls here" and arrows pointing to his mouth...he didn't. his nickname is tornado ricky because at the last tournament when our two company teams played each other he took out my friend mildrid on second base. totally plowed her over. he told the face painting chick he wanted tornado written on his face. the face painting chick didn't know how to spell tornado and the tornado didn't know how to spell it..he's foreign so she drew these retarded lines on his face supposedly representing wind? i don't know but it was so lame it was funny. face painting chick was in her twentys...nuff said.

Our second game was better. we actually mercied the team one inning. usually its us always mercied. but in the end we sucked and lost. mildred and i left the feild behind us for greener pastures, home sense and winners. i picked up my mom an xmas gift so it was a good day.

Sunday was the final championship game for the soccer team i coach. they sucked and lost. mind you they didn't suck as hard core as they usually do so i was proud of them. after all it was against our arch nemesis which happened to be the stacked hand picked team. our team is the left overs the other coach didn't want. we did pretty awsome considering they were thought to be shitty players. fucker. i hate that coach i mean honestly these kids are fucking under 12. what the hell? the funny thing is our team was the ones celebrating after our....LOSS! the other team just kinda cheered high fived each other and that was it. we were running all over the feild and dancing around to music we brought. pretty sad.

then we went back to janice's house and drank and partied. great day indeedly. my weekend was action packed, how about yours?

I'm Still Here

I actually have an ounce of energy so i decided I would update.

In the past 3 days I have had MAYBE 20 hours of sleep. My dog is sick and i thought we'd have to put her down. so scary. SERIOUSLY scary. I can't handle all this crappy crap right now. she seems to be doing better now but i'm still worried. i bet having kids is like this but 10 times worse, i'm thinking i might want to rethink the whole kids thing.

I've been hanging out with janice and her kids a lot. its awsome to be loved by kids but not be responsible for them. how much better could it get? you get to go home and you're not surrounded by kids if you don't want to be.

My plans for this long weekend are to SLEEP. oh and fucking carpet clean my room since it stinks like godamed piss from my sick dog. oh well better that than her being dead i always say!

ok i have to go i'm falling asleep